Denominational Squirrels In a little East Texas town the Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian churches were located one after the other along a beautiful tree-lined  street. Squirrels occupied the attics of all the churches, chewing up the insulation, cutting the wires, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Nothing seemed to budge the bushy-tailed rodents, and in exasperation each congregation called a meeting to deal with the menace. The Presbyterians   met first but soon adjourned after an Elder pointed out that the squirrel  invasion was preordained, and from a theological standpoint there was nothing they could do. Next to meet were the Methodists  . A dear old soul pleaded with the congregation to handle the problem in the gentle spirit of John Wesley, so the church bought a bunch of humane traps and turned the squirrels  loose at the edge of town. By morning all the Methodist squirrels were back in their attic. Finally the Baptists convened their business meeting. In short order, the squirrels    were voted into the membership of the church, and now they come only on Easter and Christmas.